• Dr. LaWanda Hill

Normalizing Conversations with you partner about Pleasure


It may not feel easy, but it sure is necessary!

For this first quarter of this year I have been in a normalizing campaign! I have been sitting down to have courageous conversations with phenomenal women about topics that are so central to our well-being; namely, self pleasure, ethical, porn, and sexual communication with our partners.


Given that we live in a society that bombards us with messages of oppression, we have to be so intentional about unlearning those messages and creating new norms that may be radically different from what we’ve been taught. Although uncomfortable, establishing these new norms are so central to us living a life on purpose that centers our joy and pleasure. This week, I focused on normalizing sexual communication with your partner(s) about your pleasure.

If my therapy walls could talk, they will tell many stories of women all over the globe with similar concerns: sexual communication. My colleagues would say the same. Women by in large feel frustrated, intimated by, or ill equipped to communicate their sexual desires to their partners or provide feedback about their sexual experiences together. These concerns are so common that I sat down with Vanessa Geffrard to shed light on some of the barriers to sexual communication and provide some helpful tools in overcoming them.


Vanessa is a Baltimore based life-affirming sex educator and creator of VagEsteem. VagEsteem™ is a workshop series and podcast that encourages good and healthy sex through courageous conversations about love, sex, relationships, and everything in between.


In our curated conversation, Vanessa and I named and discussed common barriers to communicating your sexual needs to your partner(s). Then, we gave an award winning performance modeling three role play scenarios about sexual communication:


The first was how to communicate with partners you've been faking with. Keeping it real, this is a lot of people's challenge. Women struggle with knowing they haven't been authentic about their sexual, but feel ashamed or stuck in how to address that.


The second was how to discuss what you like an don’t like with someone who you haven't had sex with yet. This conversation can be fun, light, and flirty!

The final role play was how to share feedback on what you did and did not enjoy about a sexual encounter with a partner. The reality is not every sexual encounter will an A+, and that is to be expected. But we want to normalize providing feedback of how it can be a better.

.Check out our full fun and informative conversation here: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CLs1iHRl96R/

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