Explore, experience, and evolve.
The Black women unlearning series continues. This week we are all about unlearning sex without pleasure.
Women's sexuality is so beautifully complex. There is no one size fits all when it comes to what we enjoy sexually, nor is there a magic gear that automatically turns on pleasure for us. Yet, so many women I've talked with personally and professionally who are in heterosexual relationships have had many sexual encounters in which it was apparent that their partner(s) believed such was the case.
The script is always the same:
Women receive an abundance of messages about their "role" during sex.
Then, because of the messages they've received, they act out those roles during sex; often centering their partner's pleasure at the expense of their own.
As a result, sex ends up being pleasurable for their partner but not for the women involved.
This reality occurs too often for my liking. All too often, sexual encounters for women do not center their erogenous zones- the parts of the body that are sensitive to sexual stimulation. We've been taught not to center our pleasure and during sex, we don't attend to these sensitive areas or lead our partners in doing so.
For some of us, we haven't explored those areas sensitive to sexual stimulation enough to know where they are or attend to them. For others, we know where these areas are but don't communicate them to our partners. Let's unlearn that. And we can start tonight!
I am excited to join Elisa Boquin tonight live on Facebook and Instagram, 6 pm PST/8 pm CST, to help us unlearn some messages that stand in the way of us pursuing and evolving in our pleasure.
Eliza Boquin is a Licensed Psychotherapist, Sex Therapist, Energy Healing Practitioner, and Entrepreneur, Eliza Boquin works with clients to overcome past traumas and problematic relationship patterns so they can begin to enjoy healthier, pleasure-filled lives.
You can find her working with clients at her private practice, The Flow & Ease Healing Center, in Houston, TX.
Eliza is also the co-founder of Melanin & Mental Health, a mental wellness brand committed to changing the face of therapy for Black & Latinx communities.
She has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, Bustle, and XO Necole.
Join Eliza and I as discuss erogenous zones as women, the importance of knowing them in pursuing pleasure, and radically engaging pleasure points in EVERY sexual encounter.