I have finally found my way back to my baseline of peace and joy, But whew chile; it's been a challenging 3 weeks. The reality that we are co-existing with 77 million Americans that chose racism and sexism over democracy (despite whatever story they might tell themselves) really had me shooketh and pissed AF! I've gone through all the emotions: devastation, shock, anger, apathy, disbelief, and now centered. There Is no surprise that Black folks are still the backbone of democracy. BTW, I am proud as hell of the 92% of Black women out there who not only understood the assignment, but went above and beyond in executing this group project that is democracy. Sadly, a lot of folks didn't understand the assignment, did not do their part, and fumbled- per usual.
The fumble was very grounding and clarifying. Folks have shown me who they are and I definitely believe them, So that means I will have to move a little differently to radically protect my peace, and embrace joy as resistance in whatever forms they may take over the next four years. I am not going to allow the heaviness of the world to block my joy, and I hope you don't either. Sometimes, joy can feel like an act of defiance when the world is hellbent on reminding us of all that’s broken. But we can still choose to find the beauty in our lives, to relish the small and large victories, to love on ourselves, to laugh unapologetically, and to savor the moments that remind us that we are worthy of peace and happiness right now—in spite of it all.
So, here are 7 ways I'm radically protecting my peace:
I've been on some radical boundaries! I've limited social media and news. I'm allowing the Info of the foolishness that Is sure to unfold to trickle In. No need to let It come In daily as a hurricane and take me under. As a psychologist, I’m pretty good at predicting future behavior based on current and past behavior. So I don’t need a play by play of the destructiveness of 47. I have a real example of this when my brother called me just the other day as I was minding my Black business to share with me the ridiculously Incompetent cabinet picks. See, didn't need to go searching for It. It came to me lol.
I'm been even more selective about the spaces I self select into. You can catch me on most days not self selecting into predominately white spaces. But you can find me now in some Black AF spaces, And when I am in those spaces, I am not really engaging non black folks. My plight is different and not everyone understands and respect that. Clearly. I mean look at the exit poll numbers (rolls eyes). I am not Interested In fake smiling, being politically correct, being thoughtful about someone else's discomfort, you know engaging in emotional labor trying to explain that plight to folks who aren't really about that life. No thank you. That might change but I doubt it. I need to be in spaces that are Black AF right now and I’m very unapologetic about that. In this moment, I'm leaning into community, not isolation or triggering environments.
I'm giving my energy to the people and places where it will return to me for my highest good; so that includes myself, Black women, Black men, and the Black community. It means I'm taking my anger and frustrations out In the gym, having good sex (lots of it), and really leaning Into community with my friends and loved ones. Period.
I'm leaning in the ministry of music. I am allowing music to do what music does: heal, inspire, motivate. Everyone needs a playlist for a time such as this. if you don't have one yet, get to creating lol. Heavy on rotation right now is Kendrick Lamar, Beyoncé, Lacrae, and Tye Tribett. Create your own playlist that speaks to your soul.
I'm watching movies that reflect my humanity and celebrate our culture: Black panther, Wakanda Forever, Abbott Elementary, and sports that show case our Black ass excellence. It has given me life.
I am not allowing this country’s moral failure to distract me from my goals. I still have plans of being a millionaire, mom, and married by 40 and I’m radically pursuing it!
I am planning my travel. And this includes the country I want to be in the day of the inauguration. Surprise, it ain’t the U.S.
We’ve seen where people stand, and while some have chosen chaos, I have chosen peace, joy, and resilience—because that’s who we are. I hope you will too. Let's keep living, loving, and thriving in spite of the world’s attempts to drag us down. Our peace is our power, and we are the ones who get to define what joy looks like. Whether it's in music, pleasure, movies, or quiet moments with the people we love, let’s continue to fill our cups—because when we’re full, we’re unstoppable.
P.S. un-invite anybody you invited to the cookout!
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