No one person can be everything to anybody. Period.
It. is. a fact.
Yet, many Black women are taught to prioritize romantic relationships and believe in doing so, that relationship will meet every single one of their needs. That ,unortunately not true. What is true is the fact we thrive in healthy affirming relationships; and guess what, that includes non-romantic relationships. But, so often Black women are not taught to prioritize and cultivate non-romantic relationships. It is a setup.
When season four of HBO Insecure began, I engaged one of my good friends and colleagues, Josie Pickens, in a series of conversations around relationships; how we form them, cultivate them (or not), and maintain them. In those conversations, it became clear that Black women are taught early on which relationships are important to invest in and which aren't. Those live conversations can be found on our IGTV at @drlawandahill and @jonubian.
Josie is a professor, writer, speaker, cultural critic, and thought leader whose many works focus on the intersections of race, gender, and class. Professor Pickens currently writes a biweekly column called “Love No Limit” for Bitch- a feminist- centered magazine; she wrote extensively for both Ebony and Essence Magazines. Her work has also been featured on Shondaland.com, The Guardian Digital, The Atlantic Digital, The New York Times Digital, and other news sites across the web including The Love No Limit Show. Professor Pickens‘s latest labor of love is a podcast that focuses on expansive conversations about Black love. The podcast recently won a grant award from the City of Houston’s Mayor’s Office of Cultural Affairs through Houston Art Alliance.
You can see her amazing work here: https://www.bitchmedia.org/profile/josie-decatur.
What became clear in my conversations with Josie is the relationships we are often taught to neglect, are in fact the very relationships that sustain us. The fact of the matter is, we don't honor non-romantic relationships in the manner we should, and in a way that honors the value those relationships add to our lives.
So, we are going to talk about it and engage in some unlearning. Join Josie and me as we focus our conversation on unlearning the messaging Black women receive around the relationships they are taught to prioritize and honor. Specifically, Josie will offer her reflections on the importance of cultivating healthy and affirming non-romantic relationships, what it takes to nurture them, and the positive impact of those relationships.
I'm excited! Tune in for more unlearning on Wednesday, August 26th, at 5:30 pm PST via IG and Facebook.