• Dr. LaWanda Hill

Insecure Teaches Black Women Four Critical Lessons to Help Us Thrive in 2022



The series Insecure has sadly come to an end. What an incredible gift to the culture: unapologetic Blackness, unmatched wit and humor, an appreciation for Black Los Angeles, and a showcase of many Black owned businesses. I could truly go on and on.


It also brought us diverse narratives of Black womanhood with four valuable lessons we can all use to help us thrive in 2022:


1. Issa first normalized Black women having insecurities. Everyone has insecurities, but it feels like Black women needed special permission to acknowledge that we have them. Yes, we are magical, but we are most definitely flawed. Despite the unrealistic demands that society places on Black women and the unhealthy messages we've internalized, as a result, there is space for us to be a masterpiece and work in progress at the same time as my friend and colleague Dr. Amanda Long says. So what Issa has modeled to us over these past 5 seasons is that we all have insecurities, and this is a part of our human experience. Black women are allowed to be insecure. We are allowed to make mistakes. We are allowed to not always get it right the first, second, or third time. Once we give ourselves permission to honor our humanity, only then can we go a step further and begin to do the work, make the changes, and pivot when necessary (even when it is scary) to move into a life in which we can thrive. Thank you, Issa, for teaching us that acknowledging our insecurities is the first step towards pursuing the life of fulfillment we desire and deserve.



2. Molly taught us the importance of examining how we show up in relationships- platonic, familial, romantic, and professional- as those patterns may not be leading us to the outcomes we desire. Molly taught that if we do not examine how we show up in our relationships, it will hinder us from growing and progressing in those relationships. Each season, we witnessed Molly's struggle in relationships: overcompensating, struggling with boundaries, accepting less than what she desires, being overly critical, romanticizing unhealthy relationships, and idealizing relationships without awareness of its flaws. We see those patterns consistently lead to undesirable outcomes for her in multiple relationships. Then we see Molly acknowledge that, pause to reflect, and seek professional support to help her establish new ways of showing up that can help all of her relationships thrive. To thrive in 2022, we need to be willing to prune away what doesn't work and develop new patterns of being.



3.Kelly taught us that evolution will require intentionality.


I felt that one in my soul as I wrote it!!


Change is inevitable, but growth and evolution is something we have to be intentional about pursuing. In that pursuit, we must be willing to pause (even if it's temporary) from what we use to distract ourselves from dealing with deeper issues. Things like sex, substances, social media, and humor may be serving as a distraction from dealing with deeper issues within us. To arrive at a higher evolved version of ourselves in 2022, we have to be willing to take the temporary pause. In doing so, we will be enlightened, more insightful, and move with greater intentionality. So as Kelly so eloquently expressed, "the booze is on snooze until a b!+@# is enlightened."



4. Tiffany taught us the new roles we take on in life (i.e., motherhood and partnership), although fruitful and fulfilling, come with steep learning curves. Those steep learning curves require that we adjust. Period. Role adjustments are difficult AF and will throw unexpected challenges our way that will prove difficult to manage. It can cause depression, anxiety, uncertainty, and grief. However, just because change is difficult doesn't mean we shouldn't pursue it anyway. And it certainly doesn't mean we won't come out on the other side of it better. If you are on the brink or in the midst of a role transition as we transition into 2022, be sure to practice vulnerability and surround yourselves with nurturing relationship that can support you through it. Thanks for modeling that for us, Tiffany!


Let's take a moment to give it up to these amazing Black women who have done something amazing for the culture.


Let's also reflect on which lessons are most applicable to us. We won't see a shift in our lives until we identify what lessons we need to put into practice. Only then can we do the work to shift how we show up in the world.


When we shift how we show up in the world, the world around us shifts.


Reflect, Plan, Move with Intention...all 2022!


*About the author: Dr. LaWanda Hill is a licensed psychologist, consultant, and curator of spaces. She specializes in holding space for Black women to heal, evolve, and thrive. If any of the lessons resonate with you and you need a therapeutic space to be intentional about pursuing 2022, schedule a free consult today here:https://calendly.com/drlawandahill/initial-consult.




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